Coach Large Black

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Coach Large Black

Spiritual Life Coach - The Path Of Fire Heart Bliss

The Purpose of Life - Fire Heart Bliss

The true purpose of life is to achieve union with our fundamental enlightened nature. In order to do this we have to become spiritual and to begin a spiritual path which can be part of the life coach path. Before everyone runs away please understand that spirituality, in truth, has nothing to do with religion. Spirituality is about experience and religion is about the organisation of that experience.

Right now in the United States 100 out 150 medical schools have a spirituality and medicine program. This movement will get stronger over time to encompass all of medicine.

Material Superstition

Despite creating a society that celebrates materialism to the highest degree, we have alternatives open to us if we would only reach out. All traditions have spiritual teachings and in many cities there are groups who meet to practice these systems that we can check out. But try not to start one path only to hop to another. This is quite like leaving your elephant at home and tracking his footprints in the forest. Knowing just one path you will accomplish or at the very least have an understanding of them all.

When we start wanting to run away, be deceptive, tell lies, or put on a mask, we need to walk right into our fears, sit down and talk to them until they become our friends. This process is accepted as part of the unfolding journey. Follow the path that inspires you most as you will follow this to its conclusion – freedom from suffering.

The only way to know that you have your own mind is to change it every once and a while. By changing your inner attitude you can change your outer reality and that is a fact.

www.oliverray.ca

Change Is Life

At one time or another we have all wanted to change; job, partner, house, even an uncomfortable feeling. We have wanted to stop smoking and loose weight. You may have even written that resolution down and stuck it on the fridge, bought the books on how to stop smoking and listened to the tapes to learn relaxation. You even told your friends what you were doing.

After a couple of days weeks or months the books were never read, tapes somewhere in your house and your friends……well, if they were good ones they didn’t bring it up. Despite your best intentions and real desire to be free or fitter or slimmer or saner, it didn’t work. Perhaps you had great success only to watch it all slide away after a couple of weeks like a cliff face falling into the sea. To make matters worse, if you redoubled your efforts for your transformation, the more elusive, frustrating and hair loss making (from pulling) it became.

So we look around and change is happening everywhere to everyone or so the marketing ads depict. New products are being rolled out everyday, communication is even faster these days and we now have faceless banks. Faceless banks!? We now have to be in continual training with our jobs and at night it would be great if we took an extra adult education course. Pressure, pressure, pressure!

Seeing all this change and watching other people make it and surpass our efforts we wonder will we ever make the grade and bring what we want into being.

Change Is Easy - Keep Letting Go

Surprisingly, change is easy and the good news is that you have been changing all the time despite your best intentions and tripping over on the treadmill. You started as a baby and look at you now. You have been growing and changing all along. You preferences for food have been changing all the way - one year peanut butter the next jam. Your interests have even changed, that computer that you swore that you would never touch is now your virtual mailbox to the information superhighway and to keep in contact with loved ones all over the world. You stopped eating a certain food and started wearing another style. There are things that you changed easily. Hell, you did’nt even notice until someone else pointed it out.

Any effective method of change has to explain why we sometimes have an incredibly difficult time changing and make use of absolute ease with which we sometimes do. If you think about it change happens in an instant!

Maybe you sat in front of the tv for years and then started an exercise program, one day you felt frightened in front of strangers and then it suddenly stopped, you smoked for years and then put the cigarette out forever. You could have even worried about it for week’s months and years – then it suddenly changed.

When we know how to do something it should be as easy as if we are freewheeling down a hill. When we turn the key in the ignition of the car the engine starts, when you turn the radio on it works. So isn’t it one of the most bizarre things about human life that successful personal change is largely judged by how difficult, painful, long and struggle filled it is. Forget the triumph of good over evil in Lord of the Rings - look at me instead and as the old adage goes, “No Pain No Gain”.

As if in life the more pain the better and in some cases a life of pain? Well if that was the case we would all be seeking pain out and not be spending every living moment avoiding it. If that were true we would all still be walking everywhere, writing with rocks, and sending smoke signals across the glens.

Pain has one redeeming factor it indicates that it is time to change. If pain is the result it signals that we are using a poor approach. Quintessentially speaking, lengthy struggle without success is a sign that what we are doing is not working. It’s time to see that pain, struggle, suffering, and waiting are signs that its time for another path.

Imagine what it would be like to have the complete operating manual for your brain. No need, here it is the outline or at least a metaphor of such.

The Mind Computer

Mind boffins have seen that if our brains are the computer then our thinking, beliefs and borrowed notions like the one above are how it runs and in some cases not run. Yes I agree electrical explosions, clakety clang and overall meltdown…. sooner or later.

But if you up grade the software you have a smoother, swifter, sleeker, trimmer, more energy efficient, humming machine anticipating the next task.

Seeing change in this light goes a long way to demonstrating how difficult change sometimes becomes because of the obsolete software. No matter how much we want, wish, hope, demand, verbalise, talk about change, or by entering the same old instructions and pushing the enter button – essentially nothing happens.

If a computer sales person told you that you needed a different computer for each software program you’d say no way. In fact we won’t repeat what you would say.

Yet this is what people do to themselves all the time. Although they are the personification of human excellence in; selling, communicating, problem solving, and after a while they think to themselves this is what I am good at. The dreaded comfort zone that has no comfort apart from the illusion of such that can keep you imprisoned for years within its boundaries arises. People believe or use the misunderstanding that they need a different computer for every piece of software.

Same computer for all software programmes. If your computer could only do word processing and not spreadsheets you would have it checked out straight away. But people make all sorts of excuses to stay in this state, they don’t have the skills, astrological signs and if like me you keep pushing the reality of change and success  you will hear more and ludicrous excuses justifying what can only be described as – inertia!

Here are the excuses to your meaningful life.

The Exuses Beauty Parade.

Blood type, my parents never loved me, only at my pace, bad memory, more than I can do, distraction, I need to drink, that’s just me, that’s just life and no money. As if that stopped Ms J K Rowling? In fact I am going to do nothing until my entire extended family, The Dali Lama and The Pope come with the three wise men go down on their knees and beg me to live my life.

The limitations in a computer are not in the hardware they are in the software. To change we need to first change the way that we are designed to change. Lions see things upside down, dogs see things black and white, birds see things in 360 degrees and human beings see things in billions of different ways. The jungle of the Amazon is deep and thick and unsurpassable but the jungle of our thoughts and beliefs are even more vast and overgrown.

But in order to change with as little pain and failure as possible, begin by seeing yourself as a non-smoker, slimmer, saner, and fitter person and all of the positive feelings that gives you. Start moving towards your ideal. Start acting as if you are already there. Put positive behaviours into action.

Association and Disassociation

This is the key to unlock all of your potential. Imagine for a minute that you are in a roller coaster at the fun fair. You are in the ride up and down, all around. Feel all the feelings associated with that even the image of your fingers holding onto the rail and butterfly’s in your stomach. Now after this, imagine watching yourself from a distance note how you are feeling is it as intense as the other scenario. You will find that it is not.

This is called association and disassociation. Association when you are in the hot seat and disassociated watching from afar. Imagine applying it to depression and dissociating it from the experience and associating to an experience that makes you happy and fulfilled. Then using “association” to move more towards the feelings of being slim, healthy, fit and positive with an enhanced physique.

The problem with change is falling between the two stools once you have the techniques you have the plank to walk across to your goal.

Stinking Thinking

You have heard of dental hygiene but have you heard or even paid attention to your mental hygiene lately? The experts say that on average a person has over 70,000 thoughts a day. Now if you are feeling negative how much of those thoughts will be negative? The thoughts you are thinking and actions you are making bring about what is happening in your life. Who you are is as result of what you have been and who you will be is a result of what you do now.

The Council Of Everybody

There is not a person who is alive that does not have an “everybody” committee that in most cases stops them from revealing their human excellence because of what “everybody” would say. I often ask my clients to look at who is on this council and in many cases we pass a vote of no confidence and sack the lot. My clients often go on to appoint amazing people to the Ministry of Everybody. Madonna is in charge of their social lives, Anthony Robbins minister without portfolio, Dr Phil dealing with the family, Kylie for feeling the fear and doing it anyway, the list is endless. The idea is what your life would be like if they were on the organising committee. This process may sound simple but in practice I have seen people move mountains quite literally with this exercise. I have used extreme examples but imagine if you sacked the council you have and choose rather than 'randomly aquire' the new ones.

Tell the Truth and Shame the Denial

Unlike what most people think “denial” is not a river in Egypt. Denial in extreme situations is a coping mechanism for situations you can’t get out of like being the partner of an active alcoholic, a kind of shutting down or coping mechanism. Accepting what you don’t want and compromising yourself and ultimately your life is not in your best interests, or for the people around you. From my experience both professionally and personally, denial is something that nobody can afford  – no matter who they are or what they have. An alcoholic dives into the bottle, you dive after them to save, no one if left to raise the kids. Don't tell yourself you stay for their sake. Just not true.

Original Love Not Original Sin

My belief and its mine – take it or leave it - is that the majority of us are born with original love. People who are imbued with this primary way of being are less stressed, easy to be around and are also relaxing to be with. They are also less defensive and they have an understanding of basic goodness. If you struggle with the above then its time to address your low self esteem.

Be your own Best Friend

If you do not have faith in the wave how can you have faith in the ocean? You are the best friend and supporter that you will ever have. People come and go in your life but you stay. If you do not like and support yourself you are missing out on your greatest safety net. The resources and potential you have when you are working for and with yourself rather than against is far too long to elaborate here. The benefits are obvious of stopping the inner civil war – peace being one.

Comfort Zone Dis-ease

The whole idea of a comfort zone is that you stay within it and don’t come out. The territory outside that boundary is an infinite adventure park where we learn by trial and error. If your self-esteem is low you will be confined exclusively to your comfort zone. You will not have the supplies to explore the adventure zone and hike to the position of your dream. If you come from a dysfunctional background you will not step outside for fear of being shot by the emotional snipers with their bullets of negativity. Armour yourself with healthy amounts of self esteem and bullet proof dreams. So then no matter what the 'black abbots' of cynacism and jealousy throw at you they loose.

The Alchemy of Pain to Pleasure.

In order to be a great alchemist we have to transform a base metal into gold. We will presume that the more of the base metal there is the more the gold and therefore the more disastrous the situation the better result will be achieved. Who you think you are is partly a program. Many hypnotherapy friends of mine tell me that often what their clients and the public at large call hypnosis, is in fact de-hypnosis. So if we use the understanding that your blocks for change may indeed not be your real beliefs, this awareness can help the process significantly and give you the air to breath and space to explore what you can actually do. You can remove the cloaks of other people’s opinions that hold you back.

Ultimately, people with good self esteem and healthy emotions will learn new things and take risks. The closer that you get to this state and enhance it as much and as regularly as possible the more success you will have making the changes that you want to. It has been said that 96% of the population works for 4% of the population and that 4% do something very simple that makes all the difference - they write down and regularly review what they want to achieve.

Make An Appointment With Freedom

If you like what you heard and want some more why not book sessions with me. The minimum number is six. We can start together to get you life on track and before its too late. Death is real. In fact we are dying all the time. Yesterday, the past is gone. The future is down to what you do now.

Its up to you.....

About the Author

Ralph Quinlan Forde - www.fireheartbliss.com the author and Holistic Medicine Consultant has contributed to the following publications over eight years, The Independent on Sunday, The Sunday Herald, IVENUS, Tescos Magazine, The Irish Examiner and The Sunday Tribune. He is also the founder of www.medicinebuddhafoundation.org. His book The Book of Tibetan Medicine is now in 11 languages http://thebookoftibetanmedicine.blogspot.com. His nutrition company is www.stargatenutriionvitamin.com

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